Planning your own funeral means deciding in advance how you want your funeral or memorial service to happen. This includes making choices like whether you want to be buried or cremated, what kind of service you prefer, and adding personal touches like favourite music, readings, or people to speak at the event.
Planning your own funeral may appear weird at first. However, an increasing number of people are taking this decision out of love for their family, rather than fear. Making funeral arrangements for yourself can be a significant way to take charge of your last wishes and relieve your loved ones of the burden of having to make choices at an already difficult and emotional period.
Things to consider when planning your own funeral
When pre planning your own funeral, even if it’s far in the future, there are several important things to consider, such as:
- Costs: What is the average cost of a funeral today, and how much might it go up in the future? What are the basic expenses, and what extras can increase the cost?
- Budget: How much do you want to spend on your funeral, and how will you pay for it?
- Funeral Director: Do you want to hire a funeral director to help plan and manage the service?
- Burial or Cremation: Would you prefer to be buried or cremated? Where would you like this to happen?
- Service: Do you want a funeral service? If so, who would you like to lead it?
- Music: Is there a special song or piece of music you’d like played at your service?
- Environmental Concerns: Do you want to consider the environmental impact of your funeral choices?
- Notifying Others: Are there specific people you’d like to make sure are informed when you pass away?
- Clothing: Is there a certain outfit you’d like to wear in the coffin?
Basic funeral cost
Funeral Director’s Fees
These fees cover services like transporting the person who passed away to the funeral home and taking care of them there. Sometimes, the funeral director takes the body straight to the funeral location. They also handle paying for the cemetery or crematorium. The fees often include a basic coffin and a hearse (the special car that carries the coffin).
The cost of a funeral director in the UK depends on the type of funeral. For a traditional funeral, the average fees are between £3,795 for cremations and £5,077 for burials. For simpler options like direct cremation, which doesn’t include a service, the cost is lower, averaging around £1,498.
Discretionary Costs
Discretionary costs are optional expenses for a funeral that depend on personal preferences and how much the family or friends can organize themselves. It allows for customization and personalization in planning your own funeral, where you can choose specific elements that reflect your personality and wishes.
Additional costs may include printing programs for the service, hiring musicians, providing food for guests at the reception, or placing an obituary in the newspaper. These expenses give families the freedom to personalize the funeral service, but they can add significantly to the overall cost depending on the choices made.
Choosing in between burial or cremation
Selecting between cremation and burial is one of the most important choices you will make while planning your own funeral. There are financial, emotional, and practical considerations to both options.
Burial provides a permanent burial place at a cemetery, which some families prefer as it allows them to visit and pay tribute to their loved ones. It is often more expensive than the cremation because it requires a burial plot, a headstone, and annual maintenance costs. Some people find it compatible with their religious or cultural beliefs.
On the other hand, cremation is flexible and often less expensive. The ashes can be scattered in a meaningful location, preserved in an urn, or even added to a memorial piece. Cremation also has a lower environmental impact than traditional funerals, which require land and use embalming chemicals.
The decision between burial and cremation is based on your personal values, religious views, environmental concerns, and financial constraints. To make sure your choices are honoured, it’s crucial to talk about your preferences with your family and perhaps even put your decision in writing.
The cost of a burial in the UK averages around £5,077, with additional fees for the burial plot, which can range from £1,000 to £6,000, and a headstone costing between £800 and £2,000.
Cremation tends to be less expensive, with average costs around £3,795, and cremation fees ranging from £400 to £1,100 depending on the location. A cremation certificate adds about £82 to the overall expense.
Funeral Service Preferences
Religious or Secular:
Make a decision regarding the type of service you want—religious or secular. Additionally, you have the option of designating a celebrant or a minister to conduct the event.
Music, Readings, and Eulogies:
Personalize the service by selecting specific music, readings, or speakers. You might have favourite songs or poems you’d like to be included. You can also request certain family members or friends to deliver eulogies.
Ways to pay for your own funeral
When paying and planning your own funeral, there are several ways to ensure that the costs are covered and that your family is not burdened with expenses. Here are some options:
Funeral insurance
Funeral insurance (sometimes known as over-50s life insurance) is meant to pay out a lump amount to cover funeral expenditures. The monthly premiums can be reasonably priced, and the payout is designed to cover the costs of your funeral when you die.
Prepaid Funeral Plans
You can pay for your funeral ahead of time with a pre-paid funeral plan. This guarantees the payment of the primary expenses, including burial or cremation fees, funeral director fees, and other services. Additionally, it lets you lock in current rates to guard against rising costs in the future.
Life Insurance
Funeral expenditures might be covered as part of the payout from a standard life insurance policy. Your beneficiaries may use the money to cover various expenses related to your final days of life in addition to the funeral, burial, or cremation.
Savings Accounts
You can open a separate savings account that is dedicated to planning your own funeral. You may make sure that you have enough money for your funeral by saving up over time. While this approach offers flexibility, unlike prepaid programs, it does not lock in rates.
Trusts or Wills
One way to pay for your funeral is to create a trust or leave money in your will for funeral costs. This guarantees that the funds are available and allocated for funeral expenses.
Making your funeral environmentally friendly
You can make your funeral environmentally friendly by choosing several eco-conscious options:
- Green Burial:Use cardboard, bamboo, or wicker for biodegradable coffins instead of embalming chemicals and let the body decay naturally in a woodland or natural burial place.
- Cremation with Carbon Offsetting: While cremation has a lower environmental impact than burial, you can offset its carbon emissions through carbon balancing services.
- Eco-friendly Alternatives: Though they might not be accessible everywhere, newer, greener techniques like natural organic reduction (human composting) and resomation (water cremation) lessen environmental damage.
- Natural Memorials: Instead of traditional headstones, you could choose natural markers, plant trees, or create a memorial in a nature reserve.
Sharing your decision for planning your own funeral with family and friends
Talking to your family about planning your own funeral can be a sensitive but important conversation. Here are some steps to help guide you through the process:
- Pick the right moment to talk when everyone is calm and relaxed.
- Explain your reasons for planning your own funeral and how it helps ease the burden.
- Use gentle, compassionate language to bring up the topic.
- Highlight the benefits of making the process easier for loved ones.
- Share your preferences for burial, cremation, or service details.
- Offer to document your wishes to avoid confusion later.
- Be prepared for emotional reactions and allow family members time to process.
- Revisit the conversation if necessary, giving space for further discussion.
At what age should you start planning your funeral?
There’s no specific age when you must start planning your funeral, but it’s generally advised to begin thinking about it earlier in adulthood, especially after reaching major life milestones.