A funeral wake is a gathering that happens when someone passes away. It’s a time for family and friends to come together to remember the person who has died and to support each other. During a wake, people might share stories, look at pictures, and talk about the good times they had with the person. The wake can happen before or after the funeral service, and it’s a way for everyone to honour the life of the person who has passed away.
How long is a funeral wake?
A funeral wake usually lasts between 1 and 4 hours, but the exact time can vary. It’s a gathering where family and friends come together to remember the person who has passed away. People might stay for a short time or the entire wake, depending on their schedules and how long the family wants to host it. Some wakes can even last all day, especially if many people are attending.
Funeral wake at home
A funeral wake at home is when family and friends gather at the family’s house to remember and honour someone who has passed away. It’s a more personal and relaxed event compared to a wake at a funeral home. People come together to share stories, offer support, and say their goodbyes. The family might have food and drinks available, and the atmosphere is usually informal, allowing guests to stay for as long as they want.
In some cases, the body of the deceased might be present in a casket or a special area set up for viewing. However, not all home wakes include this.
Funeral wake etiquette
Funeral wake etiquette ensures sure that during a difficult period, everyone is respected and supported. The following are key guidelines to follow when attending or hosting a wake:
| For Attendees | For Hosts |
| Arrive on time, and it’s okay to come and leave as need. Try to arrive quietly and politely if you’re running late to be respectful. | Arrange the space to be welcoming and comfortable. Provide seating, refreshments, and any necessary supplies like tissues. |
| Express your sympathy to the family but also avoid making the conversation too focused on the details of the death. | Welcome guests as they arrive and introduce them to other attendees if appropriate. A warm greeting can help set a supportive tone. |
| Maintain a respectful tone and courteous conversation. | Create a calm and respectful environment. Play soft music if desired, and ensure that the area is orderly and inviting. |
| Pay attention to any religious or cultural traditions that are followed during the wake. It’s fine to ask the family or follow their lead if you’re unsure. | If providing food, try to accommodate any dietary restrictions or preferences of your guests. |
| Wear respectful, modest clothing. Dark or subdued colours are generally considered appropriate, but this can vary based on cultural norms. | Place the guest book in a visible and accessible location for attendees to sign. Ensure it is collected and kept safe for later. |
| If the wake is held in a private home, be considerate of the family’s space. Keep your visit brief if needed and be aware of any house rules. | Thank guests for their support and condolences. Acknowledge their presence and kindness during this challenging time. |
| If appropriate, offer practical support to the family, such as helping with food or cleaning up. Sometimes, small gestures of kindness can be very meaningful. | Allow guests to have their personal space and privacy. It’s important to be respectful of both the grieving family and the attendees. |
| If there is a guest book or condolence book, be sure to sign it with your name and a brief message of sympathy. |
Funeral wake stationeries
When planning a funeral wake, using appropriate stationery can add a thoughtful and organized touch to the event. Here are some types of stationery you might consider for a funeral wake:
Condolence book or guest book:
A condolence book, also called a guest book, is a special book where people can write their names and leave kind messages for the family at a funeral or wake. It serves as a lasting keepsake, filled with memories and comforting words from those who knew and cared about the deceased.
Wake welcome boards and signage:
Wake/ Memory boards and signage help guide guests during a funeral wake, making the event more organized and easier for everyone to navigate. It also contributes to creating a warm, respectful, and welcoming atmosphere during the wake.
Memorial cards and bookmarks:
Bookmarks and memorial cards can be given to guests as a keepsake, often featuring a photo of the deceased and a meaningful quote or poem.
What is the difference between a wake and a memorial service?
A wake and a memorial service are both gatherings held to honour and remember someone who has passed away, but they differ in their purpose, timing, and format.
| Wake | Memorial service | |
| Timing | A wake usually takes place before the funeral, sometimes the evening before or immediately before the funeral service. | A memorial service is held after the body has been buried or cremated, sometimes days, weeks, or even months later. |
| Format | A wake is often more informal and can include viewing the body, sharing memories, and offering condolences to the family. It may be held at a funeral home, a private residence, or another location. The atmosphere is generally more relaxed, and people may come and go as they please. | A memorial service is more formal and structured, similar to a funeral but without the body present. It often includes readings, speeches, music, and prayers. The focus is on celebrating the life of the deceased and may include a eulogy or personal tributes from loved ones. |
| Purpose | The primary focus of a wake is to provide an opportunity for close family and friends to come together to pay their respects, support each other, and remember the deceased in a more personal setting. | The goal of a memorial service is to honour and remember the life of the deceased, often with a larger group of people, and to provide a sense of closure and communal support for those who are grieving. |
Where is the best place to have a wake?
The best place to have a wake depends on the preferences of the family, the number of attendees, and the atmosphere they wish to create. Here are some of the most common and suitable locations for holding a wake:
- Private family house
- Funeral Home
- Church or Religious Venue
- Community Hall or Event Space
- Outdoor Venue or Garden
- Restaurant/ Pubs or Private Dining Room
Is it appropriate to bring something to a funeral wake?
You should always consider the family’s wishes and cultural or religious customs when deciding what to bring. If the family has mentioned in the invites or the funeral order of service to not bring anything, then one should respect it.
If you choose to bring something, here are a few considerations:
- Sympathy Card: A card expressing your condolences is always appropriate and appreciated.
- Flowers: Bringing flowers is traditional, but if the family has requested donations instead, it’s best to honour that request.
- Food or Refreshments: Offering food is common, especially if the wake is held at a private home. It helps the family by reducing their burden during a difficult time. However, it’s polite to check with the host beforehand.
- Memories or Photos: Sharing photos or written memories of the deceased can be a meaningful contribution.
- Donation: If the family has asked for donations to a specific charity instead of flowers or gifts, making a donation in the deceased’s name is a thoughtful alternative.